This story has to do with a long-standing crush and a large body of water.
But there is a bunch of random backup factage on this one, so bear with me.
It starts way back in high school, when I was 16. I worked at a movie theater and had a bit of an eye for this [...]

So I should probably just tell you right off that this blog isn’t my usual haha fare. It won’t make you laugh.
It is about a friendship that shaped my life more than any other. It is one I was trying to type last week when I hit the wrong key and it all disappeared. But [...]

It seemed like such an empty threat.
But Mom used it alllllll the time.
“You better put those dirty dishes in the dishwasher…or your name is Mud!”
“You better not skip brushing your teeth….or your name is Mud!”
Ok, AND? I kept wondering. What’s the big deal? I mean, my name starts with ‘M’ anyway….really you’re just economizing on [...]

I really really *really* didn’t need any more proof, but today I got some.
See I’ve suspected for some time that there is, in fact, a grand conspiracy taking place in my honor at higher levels of government. I’ve managed to talk myself out of this feeling on numerous occasions, accusing myself of getting a big [...]